Les Orchard <me@lmorchard.com>

Like she could be wearing baggy sweats for all I care, but she's got some hot Mick Karn fretless bass action doing covers of Japan songs that tickle my brain meats I get all these spam DMs "do you want to chat" and I'm like no, deleted, blocked, I don't want to chat I want to hear bowmp bowmp broom bowmp

I feel like this is the "I only read it for the articles" thing, but no seriously the spicy stuff bores me, give me good bass players.

A thing that's happening to me on TikTok: there's a dominatrix I follow who posts videos playing bass guitar to promote her spicy account. But, I just care about the bass guitar playing. She's really good and she plays goth and post-punk stuff. Like, Mick Karn and David J and Robert Smith. Now my notifications are full of follows from dominatrixes who do not play bass guitar. I'm just like no give me more bass guitar players, I don't care about your leather cat suit and whip.

Also also I managed to read Dungeon Crawler Carl books 5 and 6 while on planes, this week.

Also, I think a couple had a very loud breakup fight in the row behind me and the lady had a flight attendant move her to a new seat after about 2 hours of back and forth. I couldn't hear much but I think the dude was on the losing end of the dispute. Then he jabbed me in the kidneys for awhile as he messed angrily with his seat back pocket.

I have been awake for 24 hours, but at least I'm tooting from a Lyft home

Also i just got a chicken bacon sandwich and, to myself, I just said: "IT'S BACON!" just like the old Beggin' Strips dog treat commercials

I am still in an airport. A woman just walked by wearing a Sade t-shirt. In my liminal cross-time-zone hallucinatory state, I could have sworn it was Alf on her shirt and I was inordinately interested until I realized

Content warning:celebrity death Patrick Stewart. Well, shit. That's why the captain's not supposed to go on away missions

Here by my gate, i just watched a man cough like a toddler, mouth open and tongue out. Somehow he sounded like godzilla

On my long flight here, a strapping German lad rolled over in his sleep and attempted to engulf my forearm in his spandex-clad ass cheeks. I'm hoping a similar experience doesn't occur today 🤞