Les Orchard <me@lmorchard.com>

That's me!

Today (notes.lmorchard.com)

Hello world.


Been playing a lot of EVE Echoes lately. As I mentioned on 2020 / 09 / 11, it seems to be taking up the space for mental breaks and self-distractions that I used to fill with social media.

Only, social media tends to be a gravity well of doomscrolling that riles me up and leaves me deflated and depressed. Which sucks, because ideally I'd like it to serve as a social prosthetic to compensate for my anxiety that leaves me disconnected.

EVE Echoes, on the other hand, is a low-stakes learning and achievement simulator with light social features. By that I mean that EVE presents a complex array of systems and trivia to grok and game play opportunities unlocked by soaking one's head in that array.

I find learning and tinkering and unlocking insights to be some of my most pleasurable experiences. But, these are sometimes tainted in the real world by burnout at work and other fraught situations. It's nice sometimes to just exercise these brain circuits on low-stakes gameplay for no reason other than to feel the machinery work.


What I'm dreading is my inevitable abrupt ADHD focus loss.

I'm currently engaged on a daily basis with EVE Echoes - but once upon a time I was similarly obsessed with EVE Online. One day, like a light switch, my interest was gone. Like a fussy eater whose favorite food has suddenly become poison, I couldn't make my brain feel good by pouring attention into this thing that worked yesterday.

Sometimes it's hard to really describe how drastic this switch in my head is: Yesterday, an interest was all-consuming. Today, any attempt to pursue the thing generates an overwhelming flood of painful tedium. Usually, I can't come up with any causal event or rational explanation.

The closest comparison I can think of is what happens to me when I get a sinus infection: Most of the year, I absolutely love coffee. But, once a year, I get sick and coffee abruptly tastes like garbage overnight. During that period, I have to change to black tea for caffeine. Then, once the infection clears, coffee is delicious again.

I really envy folks who find an interest and manage to stick with it, center their life around it. Sports fans, niche hobbyists, etal. I have some fields of interest around which I orbit, but no particular one of them holds me for long enough for me to really nest and build for long.

And also that's a thing I kind of envy in long-term EVE players. They form corporations in-game and communities out of game, circling this shared interest of all these complex play-pretend simulation systems. I can gain just a glimpse of being able to sink into this crowd just before my brain suddenly snaps away from it. It leaves me never quite being able to form connections.

And so it goes with every distinct thing in which I've ever had an interest. If there was one thing I wish I could change about my brain, it's that.

Glitch Projects (lmorchard)

YouTube Videos (lmorchard)

Github (@lmorchard)

Pinboard (u:deusx)

Typing (typing.lmorchard.com)

  • 1 year ago A river, not an inbox
    Feed readers work best for me when they're rivers, not inboxes.
  • 1 year ago Done with Google’s Feed
    For the past year or so, I've been using Google's Discover feed from my phone's home screen for part of my daily news habit. It's been mostly okay and often relevant. But, little paper cuts have finally hit my annoyance threshold.
  • 1 year ago I ❤️ Glitch
    Lately, when I start tinkering with a side project, I reach for Glitch.
  • 1 year ago GOTO Hell
    Here's a spoopy little story I wrote. The gist of it comes from a dream. There's blood, murder, an unhealthy relationship, and a bit of existential angst.
  • 1 year ago Generating a Firefox static theme from a web page
    Folks would like to export their themes from Firefox Color as standalone theme add-ons. These can be submitted to AMO and allow for further advanced tinkering not supported by the theme editor in Color. Up until today, I was thinking that we'd need to do this with server-side code like an AWS Lambda function. But, with more due diligence, I realized all the pieces exist to make this happen completely in the browser.
  • 1 year ago Insultron2000 is here to serve!
    It was a rainy, chilly day this past Sunday. I had been meaning to work on Picodon. But I was feeling low enthusiasm for that project. So, I spun my Wheel of Side Projects. It landed on "ActivityPub insult bot"--a similar theme but it felt like something I could actually get working in a day. So, Insultron2000 was born!
  • 2 years ago Embracing stasis to get unstuck
    By letting things I've made go static, I can shed encumbrances to try new things. And I want to try new things to see if I can remove limiters on my writing.
  • 2 years ago When Yak Shaving is The Point
    I've been working on some side projects lately. I feel good about that. But, I usually don't finish them. I feel bad about that. I always feel bad about that. But, maybe I shouldn't be so hard on myself.

Colophon

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